Be Your Guru, Because No One Else Is Coming
Like most of you probably, I’ve had moments where I’ve wished for a savior, a guide, a guru. Basically someone to tell me what to do.
Because, when you embark on anything long term, or even longish term, you will wonder if it’s worth it. Worth the time and money. Worth the sacrifice, i.e. the time and money that could have been spent elsewhere. Wouldn’t it be nice if there was some assurance ahead of time? Alas.
Defining Worth
Let’s take a moment to talk worth. The measure of worth varies by pursuit and intention. Also by predictability of the outcome, in other words, risk. But it is usually numerical. Numbers are the only way we can count. How many/much…followers, revenue, sales. But remember the creative payoff isn’t always money. There’s satisfaction, joy, learning, evolving. But still, how do you predict if it’ll be worth it? Who can answer that question? Is it worth the time and money to go back to school? If you do the work, it is pretty easy to guess that you’ll earn the degree. That’s a likely outcome. Starting a YouTube channel? Will you have the time and energy to build a following? Will it happen fast enough? And will you have enough content for the long run? How realistically can that be estimated?
There Is No Answer
Having doubts and worry is normal. We always want a predictable outcome. Humans hate not knowing. It causes stress. We’re wired that way to survive. Our ancestors didn’t make it by taking crazy chances.
What if I write and publish a book and no one buys it? Will I get an agent? Can they sell it? Will the publishers go ahead and print it? Should I start a business? Is this a good idea? Should I invest in this relationship? Should I commit? Will it just end in heartache? I could go on. In a sort of autobiographical way!
The truth is, no one knows for sure. Commitment, hard work, resilience, tenacity, all are good indications of potential for success. But none are a guarantee. 
The two of swords in the tarot is emblematic of this. A woman sits blindfolded with her two swords crossed in front of her. She doesn’t know all the facts. She must rely on her mind: analyzing and making the best decision possible. She’s alone and immobile, turned inwards. It’s night, but the moon is waxing: things are becoming clearer. Although this is a mental exercise, you can be sure one of the facts will be how she feels. Is her heart in it?
Because a really interesting marker to help us evaluate along the way is: are you enjoying it? Don’t disregard the joy factor. Joy means you are feeding your soul, it means your purpose and intention and creation are lined up. Ultimately that’s one of the biggest factors. It’s really hard to do something you don’t like, or that has no meaning. And while we’re here, it’s OK to move on once the joy and motivation dissipate. You don’t have to do anything forever. As I blogged, you can always change your mind.
Trust Yourself
For all your decisions, you are your own best guide. You know, in your heart, if this is for you or not. It’s just a question of quieting the noise and checking in with yourself. Meditation is a great tool for this. So much clarity is gained through meditating. That’s why I blog on it a lot.
You may be thinking, “Wait, I talk to my guides, I pray. I have people I can talk to. It’s not just me.” That decision is just you. I believe in signs, and intuition. Some of us can tap into that guidance system, whether you believe it all internal or connecting with guides, passed loved ones, the collective consciousness–call it what you want. But that decision to go ahead? That’s all you. That’s our Two of Swords lady. She’s mentally processing all she knows. Then she’ll uncross the swords, remove her blindfold, and go forth.
Don’t procrastinate waiting to have all the facts. Most decisions are made without. You can’t know the future. In fact, if we did, there wouldn’t be cause for worry and I wouldn’t be writing this. It would be crystal (ball) clear. But it isn’t. So go forth and remember never underestimate joy.
Writing has always been my way of working through things. I explain them to myself. This blog is one of those that’s the result of a lot of explaining! Journaling is a great way to do that.
Photo by Marek Studzinski on Unsplash