A close friend commented “Well you know what? If it doesn’t work out you can always break up.” What? What a concept. Really? I can change my mind? About anything?
Not only is ‘It’s none of my business’ a polite boundary setting, it’s a great mantra. Have you ever been tempted to cross your own boundary, but you know it’s not going to do you any good? I’ve repeated this line over and over, usually where an ex was concerned.
It’s always a really big surprise when the people close to you don’t encourage you. You’ll be asked: ‘What’s going on with you?’ ‘Why are you doing this?’ ‘You’ve changed’ ‘I liked you better before’.
Before, self-care land and Care Bears land was pretty much the same to me. It was softie-land where people listened to themselves way too much and spent their time indulging.
Is a person kind? Are they not harming others? Are they loving rather than hurtful? That’s the only measure. Everything else is details. Be a lover, not a fighter.